Candy

I work with a good number of attractive females.

I don’t believe in dating coworkers. They wouldn’t date me anyway as most of them are attracted to men younger than their own age. I don’t understand it, but as my mom would say, “whatever floats your boat.”

I have one particular coworker who loves to flirt with any guy that has two legs and walks into her office. This week her flirt is a guy doing some painting around the office. He’s five years younger than her. I called her out on it today, only to end up suffering thru her describe what it was about him. It was his jaw line. She likes it.

I got out of my chair and walked by the painter so I could see exactly what a great jaw line looks like. I quickly walked by him and then turned around and headed back to my office as if I forgot something. I got a good glance. I still didn’t understand it but I went back to her office door and stood there straining my neck while sticking out my chin trying to make a jaw line. She rolled her eyes at me as if she were a waitress at the local pizza joint and I just ordered a pizza with no cheese.

I went back into my office and sat in front of the large mirror for the following few minutes as I tried to make an attractive jaw line. The only thing I ended up doing was laughing at myself hysterically. The more I tried the more I looked like a worm. The shaved head will do that I guess. I shouted across the hallway to my flirtatious coworker telling her that I looked like a worm and this would never work for me. My coworker took this comment of mine as interest on my part and decided to carry on the conversation by telling me that the painter guy was eye candy. I told her that I personally heard that often, hoping to get a laugh out of her. It worked…along with another eye roll I’m sure.

About two minutes later I got to thinking about what type of candy I would be if I were such a thing. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I would be the sugarless candy that no kid ever wants. Just the candy that all moms want for their kids.

Evolution

My life has evolved. I’ve learned from my mistakes, learned not to be in a relationship where you’re always the one trying to move it forward. I’ve learned not to push and to let it go.

I’ll keep learning that.

I was sitting there with my pizza slice in one hand and the magazine in the other. I came across an article about a writer that I’ve been following this past year who has a book coming out this summer. I’ve read so much about this person I feel as if I really know them, but in truth I don’t. In the interview the writer said the words above to the author of the article and it struck me.

This is what I’ve been working on lately. I’ve been sitting back and not taking the controls in every situation. I’m not a control freak, but I probably easily influence others decisions and plans that I’m around. My mind is spoken and my schedule is set and others will follow if they are interested. I don’t like to waste time if there is a plan set or a goal listed but with no definite steps laid out to be taken. I like to know what, when and where if at all possible.

In an email to a friend last night, I responded to her questions about what I’m working on in life lately. This was in continuation of a rather lengthy conversation we’ve been having about life and priorities. I started the email off by saying no one likes to admit their faults. Most people in life probably don’t even know their faults or quirks but we all have them. However, I personally like to know mine.

I want my life to constantly evolve. To grow like a tree with deep roots and many branches. I’m aiming to not hold back and to keep my eyes open for new opportunities. Maybe this is my summer anthem now that the annual hot weather is here.

Well…..it’s either that or to not get lazy and fat by sitting during my lunch hour and read while eating pizza. I think I have piece of crust hanging off my chin now.

'Ole Blue Eyes

My eyes changed color today. They went from green to blue. My new license can prove it.

My driver’s license expired over two months ago. I had no idea. I don’t memorize my license and therefore didn’t know I was driving illegally until I tried flying back home after a short trip to see friends. The airport security was not fond of me caring an expired license. I suddenly was treated as if I were on “the list” the government created around 9/11. I was padded down, asked questions and stood silently while witnessing my luggage being carefully searched down to the bag of dirty laundry I had stored at the bottom of the suitcase. Eventually I made it thru security with some message scribbled on my ticket with a pink highlighter. Next time I’m going to carry my own highlighter and help out the process.

After forgetting to update my license for the past few weeks I finally took an early lunch today to accomplish the task. Driving back to the office I looked at the license to admire my picture. Out of the four licenses’ I have owned, only one had a horrible picture. Today’s picture continued my streak of good luck. Sitting at an intersection I inspected the license closer before the light turned green and noticed I had ‘blue as the sky’ eyes. Shortly thereafter I arrived into the work parking lot and walked towards my office stopping into the bathroom to check out my eyes. The mirror confirmed that I now have two blue eyes. I checked with a coworker by asking her what color my eyes were. She confirmed they were blue. I asked another coworker and she squinted a bit and eventually mumbled out the color blue, followed by some possible gray streaks.

My high school science teacher told my junior class that some genetic variances have advantages or disadvantages in certain situations. He went on to say that a birth defect could be defined as any type of unwanted, useless, or disadvantageous variance. His example for the class centered on how in some sunny countries, fair skin, blue eyes and blond hair could be considered a birth defect. At that point in the lecture the entire class woke up since we only heard him call blonde hair blue eyed students birth defects.

Now that I have blue eyes for the day all I can think about is me having a birth defect.

Weather Report

Today marks the first day of Hurricane Season.

Lately life has felt like a hurricane. You may have noticed with the lack of writing lately. Hurricanes have names, but I can’t even think of one to call my life right now. It all started four weeks ago and doesn’t seem to be settling down. About that time I ran into my old high school librarian that I hadn’t seen in some time. Over the course of our conversation I was happy to tell her that I finally, after all these years, started to read books. I was a big frustration in this women’s career. My high school English teacher required all students to read the first 10 minutes of class. If she allowed me to then I would spend most of that time in the library looking for a book that I had no intentions of really ever finding. I questioned why we couldn't just read magazines. I was always turned down and therefore would find large-print books in the library and use them to cover my daily readings of glossy print celebrity and world news. Since then I've been reading magazines for years. I didn’t realize how addicted I became until I sat down and counted my subscriptions one afternoon and quickly realized I had more magazines than fingers. I made some changes and decided to check out the book world. Soon thereafter Amazon.com became my friend and I found a whole new life of used books for cheap! It’s been almost two years now and I’ve been finding some great reads that I can’t put down at night. It has to be a real-life scenario type of book. None of this fantasy and sci-fi junk, it has to be real or I won’t give it a minute of my time.

On a flight recently I settled into seat 14B. Walking down the center isle in any aircraft I carefully calculate which seat is mine as I stand behind some non-frequent traveler who has no idea how to proceed down the center isle without hitting everyone already seated with their oversize luggage. I usually stand there and count the seats to see exactly where I am sitting while the helpless soul in front of me struggles to put their bag in the overhad bin.

As I settled into my seat I noticed a guy sitting in 15A, the row behind me. I was currently thankful for my new seatmate, an older woman, after exchanging glances with the grunge sitting behind us. After buckling myself in I cracked open my new book and turned to page 11 where I had left off the night before. So far my book was a complete disappointment, but I thought it was worth the effort to read another chapter or two before returning it. My seatmate looked over to see my book and started up a 15 minute conversation on my book and all the books she has ever read in her life. She had listened to the book I was currently holding in my lap on tape, and agreed with me that it wasn’t the easiest book to turn the pages in. She recommended I buy the book on tape as well which led us into another conversation about uploading books onto an ipod. She found no reason to ever own such tool until I informed her that books were for sale online that she could download and travel with easily all on her ipod. I won her over easily.

The conversation soon ceased and I couldn’t bring myself to read any more pages in my horrible book. I leaned back and closed my eyes only to start eavesdropping into the conversation happening behind me. The man in 15A started up a conversation with his seatmate and went on to explain that he was returning from London having visited his girlfriend for three weeks. She teaches literature in some grad program on the south side of London. He can’t talk her into moving to the states to be with him. Now he is setting new goals in life and will possibly move over to London to be with her. Seat 15B carried on the conversation encouraging him that it was good to set life goals and achieve them one at a time. Eventually 15B was was interrupted by 15A when he informed him that his wife was murdered one day six years ago and he’s nowhere he had planned to be in life now. Shocked at what I heard, I noticed others sitting around us leaning in a bit to hear this guy go off on how bad his life was. Basically his life was a hurricane. There wasn't any fancy magazine sharing his storm with rest of the world. Instead of the slick pictures we usually find on our nations hurricanes he was experiencing his all alone.

At that moment my seatmate leaned over and said, “Who needs to read fiction when you can hear it for yourself going on behind you.”