Candy
I work with a good number of attractive females.
I don’t believe in dating coworkers. They wouldn’t date me anyway as most of them are attracted to men younger than their own age. I don’t understand it, but as my mom would say, “whatever floats your boat.”
I have one particular coworker who loves to flirt with any guy that has two legs and walks into her office. This week her flirt is a guy doing some painting around the office. He’s five years younger than her. I called her out on it today, only to end up suffering thru her describe what it was about him. It was his jaw line. She likes it.
I got out of my chair and walked by the painter so I could see exactly what a great jaw line looks like. I quickly walked by him and then turned around and headed back to my office as if I forgot something. I got a good glance. I still didn’t understand it but I went back to her office door and stood there straining my neck while sticking out my chin trying to make a jaw line. She rolled her eyes at me as if she were a waitress at the local pizza joint and I just ordered a pizza with no cheese.
I went back into my office and sat in front of the large mirror for the following few minutes as I tried to make an attractive jaw line. The only thing I ended up doing was laughing at myself hysterically. The more I tried the more I looked like a worm. The shaved head will do that I guess. I shouted across the hallway to my flirtatious coworker telling her that I looked like a worm and this would never work for me. My coworker took this comment of mine as interest on my part and decided to carry on the conversation by telling me that the painter guy was eye candy. I told her that I personally heard that often, hoping to get a laugh out of her. It worked…along with another eye roll I’m sure.
About two minutes later I got to thinking about what type of candy I would be if I were such a thing. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I would be the sugarless candy that no kid ever wants. Just the candy that all moms want for their kids.
I don’t believe in dating coworkers. They wouldn’t date me anyway as most of them are attracted to men younger than their own age. I don’t understand it, but as my mom would say, “whatever floats your boat.”
I have one particular coworker who loves to flirt with any guy that has two legs and walks into her office. This week her flirt is a guy doing some painting around the office. He’s five years younger than her. I called her out on it today, only to end up suffering thru her describe what it was about him. It was his jaw line. She likes it.
I got out of my chair and walked by the painter so I could see exactly what a great jaw line looks like. I quickly walked by him and then turned around and headed back to my office as if I forgot something. I got a good glance. I still didn’t understand it but I went back to her office door and stood there straining my neck while sticking out my chin trying to make a jaw line. She rolled her eyes at me as if she were a waitress at the local pizza joint and I just ordered a pizza with no cheese.
I went back into my office and sat in front of the large mirror for the following few minutes as I tried to make an attractive jaw line. The only thing I ended up doing was laughing at myself hysterically. The more I tried the more I looked like a worm. The shaved head will do that I guess. I shouted across the hallway to my flirtatious coworker telling her that I looked like a worm and this would never work for me. My coworker took this comment of mine as interest on my part and decided to carry on the conversation by telling me that the painter guy was eye candy. I told her that I personally heard that often, hoping to get a laugh out of her. It worked…along with another eye roll I’m sure.
About two minutes later I got to thinking about what type of candy I would be if I were such a thing. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I would be the sugarless candy that no kid ever wants. Just the candy that all moms want for their kids.
posted by Mr. T at 9:34 PM
8 Comments:
LOL, nice bro, nice...or a sour patch kid :)
true, true...I didn't think about that...I totally would be a sour patch kid.
Matt! I'm so glad you've updated your blog, it is very interesting to read. Well we're back across the street and we'll have to have a porch night sometime soon. We'll come, I promise and bring some good snacks. Have a good day!
Michelle
I happen to like sour patch kids, thank you very much.
I'm a blogspotter now! Check me out!
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I'm starting a petition for you to update your blog. It's been over a month now!
i have a couple of ideas. firstly, i'd say you were actually more of a candy necklace. different flavors, fashionable, fun to chew. (what??)
secondly, i always wanted to be the lickable wallpaper from willy wonka's factory. "the schnozberries taste like schnozberries!"
I find the lack of enthusiasm here utterly inexcusable. MrT! Are you ok out there in OK?
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